


TYPLS

by LadyD16



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Friendship, Holiday, Humor, challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-18
Updated: 2008-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-02 15:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12729237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyD16/pseuds/LadyD16
Summary: Challenge/Summary: Teal’c hasn’t *quite* figured out what Christmas is all about. What were some misinterpretations?





	TYPLS

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).
> 
> **Author's notes:** **CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE –DAY 4** **TYPLS**  
> 
> Disclaimer:  They are fun, fun, fun, but they aren’t mine, mine, mine.  Boo hoo hoo.
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings:  I used religious context.  It's hard not to, considering the challenge subject.   I handled it very gently.  
> 
>  

 

__

 

"O'Neill, I have a question." 

Jack looked up from his tray, a half eaten pie sat on it.  "Shoot, T."   

Teal'c looked left then right.  "Shoot what, O'Neill?  Is it necessary to do so to ask this question?"  

[Sigh]  "What, T?"   

Teal'c proceeded to sit across from Jack, then leaned in.  "This Lord Jesus Christ is said to be a God.  As he appears to be benevolent, I can only conclude that he was a Tok'ra.  Am I correct, O'Neill?" 

The fork in Jack's hand, supporting a piece of pie, clattered to the plate below.  The pie piece took flight.  "Wha…?" 

Daniel walked up in time to find the need to dodge the flying dessert.  "Hey, guys.  What's up?" 

Teal'c greeted him, pleasantly.  "DanielJackson, you are just in time.  O'Neill was about to explain about the Tok'ra Lord Jesus Christ." 

Daniel looked between Jack and Teal'c, then nodded..  "Uh huh.  Yep.  Hold it a minute." 

Daniel walked off.  Jack was still stuck in staring-mode.  Daniel returned.   

"Okay, I'm back… had to a get a seat.  This should be good.  Okay, Jack… you're on." 

"Me?  I-I… why… what?" 

"Oh, good start, but it felt like it needed a bit more stammering.  Work on that for next time." 

"Cram it, Daniel."  Jack answered, perturbed, seeing the smirk on Daniel's face.  "If you're not gonna help then—" 

"Alright, fine, I'll bite."  Daniel turned to face Teal'c. "Teal'c, Jesus Christ was not a symbiote.  The Christian faith tells us that he is the Son of God.  Born on Earth to Mary and Joseph in the town of Bethlehem.  Actually, Bethlehem means House of Bread or Lahmu and was located about six miles southwest of Jerusalem by the hill country of Judea on the way to Hebron.  It was first mentioned in the Armana letters fourteen centuries BCE—" 

"Daniel." 

"Huh, Jack?" 

"You strayed… as usual.  T, d'that answer your question?" 

"Yes, that part I understand, as well as the tree wise men's journey.  However, I am uncertain how the other plays a part in this story." 

Jack raised his eyebrows.  "Tree, T?  Um… Wait!  What _other_ , ya talking about?" 

"The host, O'Neill."  

Teal'c replied. "Host?"  Both Jack and Daniel questioned, dumfounded.   

"Teal'c," Daniel replied, "There was no host."   

"There was - The Manager."  Teal'c responded, then added, "Although, I am disturbed that I could find no reference to this person known as The Manager.  I would have thought someone of this importance would have had more written on them." 

"The Manager, Teal'c?  As a host for Jesus?  I'm afraid I'm not following you?  What about you, Jack?" 

 Daniel looked over at Jack and should have expected the reaction he observed.

 "Lost."  Jack had picked up his fork and placed it in his mouth, then realized it had no pie piece on it.  "…Hopelessly." 

"I see."  Teal'c frowned.  He was not getting the answer he desired.  A different tactic was needed.  "Perhaps were I to explain the source of my queries." 

"Yes, please."  Teal'c's captivated audience responded in unison. 

Teal'c held up a colorful piece of paper.  "This paper indicates that the Lord Jesus Christ was placed in The Manager.  Obviously, a host." 

Daniel look perplexed until...  "Ma-na-ger?  Oh, _manger!_   You mean manger, Teal'c.  Must be a typo just like the tree wise men should be _three_ wise men.  Not a host.  A manger is a barn, Teal'c." 

"Ah, that is most helpful to know.  Thank you for clarifying for me, DanielJackson." 

Plausible answer found, Jack grabbed his fork on a quest for another pie piece. 

Daniel looked down at the page in Teal'c's hand with knitted brows.  "Where'd you get this from anyway?" 

Teal'c nodded his head forward across the table.  "Colonel O'Neill provided it."

"Jack?"  Daniel looked dubiously over at Jack.   

Jack shrugged.  "Found something online to help explain the Nativity play we're gonna catch tomorrow night."   

"And you didn’t think to just CHECK it over to make sure it was right, first?"  Daniel retorted. 

Jack dropped his fork and threw up his arms.  "It wasn't supposed to be that difficult, Daniel!" 

Daniel glowered at Jack.  "Jack, this is Teal'c we're talking about.  He's not from around here, remember?"   

"Yeah.  So?"  Jack stabbed the last of the pie and crammed it in his mouth, while adding,  "Well… NOW he knows the right story.  So, it's all taken care of.  Right, T?"  Pie crust was ejected with each uttered syllable.  

"It is, O'Neill, except for one more thing.  Please enlighten me about the purpose of worshipping the Holly Spirt." 

[Groan]  "Daniel?" 

Dismayed that Jack even considered involving him in this fiasco, Daniel raised his hands in front of him.  "O-hoho, no!  You made this mess all by yourself."  He leaned back and smiled pleasantly at Jack.  "I'm just gonna sit back and watch.  Actually, I think I might read this while your explaining things to Teal'c."  Daniel dragged the paper over and scanned the website information on it. 

Jack prepared to explain the nativity scene, the reason for the season, and bunch of other questions he was sure Teal'c would have after he'd finished.  He also vowed that he may happen to accidentally dislodge and let tumble the neatly stacked columns of books that Daniel had just spent most of the week organizing, the next time he happened by Daniel's lab.  That thought cheered him immensely as he turned to face an expectant Teal'c.  "You see, Teal'c, it's not the Holly Spirt, it's the Holy Sp—" 

"Uh, Jack?" 

"What!  Daniel, I was in the middle of explaining this and—"

"Yeah, I know, but you should probably make sure he knows we don't do _this_ , either.

" _This_ what?" 

"Well, to start, there's 'Gather the Son and the Holly Spirt', and that 'Angles heard on high bet down from heaven to gorify the new borg Ming."  

Jack placed his elbows on the table while dropping his head into his palms. 

Daniel got up and patted Jack on the shoulder.  "'Got your work cut out for you.  Think I'll go see if they have popcorn here."   

 

___ 

 

END


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